Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize