You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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