Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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