I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
