we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize