And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize