i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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