I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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