I CAN MOONWALK!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
