my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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