The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just had sex on a roof
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize