i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
