I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
