I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
