Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
