He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize