yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
