so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
