Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
