what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She bit a glass in half.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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