I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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