Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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