Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
