I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
