DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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