May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
