is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
