He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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