I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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