You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize