He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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