I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
