I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
