Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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