Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
