I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
