I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Operation Purity has been aborted
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize