there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
