Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
