PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
