According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
This toilet bowl is my home.
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