So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize