Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
