Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
