How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
