Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
