I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
