Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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