No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
