is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
