She is in my trunk
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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