I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
