At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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