But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
