Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
The best revenge is premature balding
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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