i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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