I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
