All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
