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I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize