I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize