Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
