My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Less talking, more tequila
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
