her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
