$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
