i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
